Raising Confidence Children
Continuing with my theme of raising confident children, in today’s Weekly Juice I show you how to promote a growth mindset within your child versus a fixed mindset. This is the work of the positive psychology researcher, Dr. Carol Dweck who goes into depth on this topic in her amazing book, Mindset. Through Dr. Dweck’s research, we know that children who have a growth mindset do better, achieve more and persevere through obstacles. All of these items will set them up for success.
Raising Confident Children
Here is one simple thing you can do that can help your child shift their thinking into a growth mindset.
Process Praise vs. Person Praise
When it comes to rewarding your child for accomplishing great things, remember to praise the process not the person. Person-centered praise is when you praise by labelling your child. For example, when your child gets a high mark on a math test, saying something like “You are brilliant! You are a genius!” is person praise. Now you are sending the message to your child that they are only those things because they did well. Person praise could promote a fixed mindset because you are attributing the outcome to them being smart – a fixed trait. In future, your child may shy away from approaching something challenging if they don’t think they will show up ‘brilliant’ or ‘genius’ because they always want to look good in your eyes.
To promote a growth mindset, you want to use process praise. That is, praising the hard work, the strategies they used and the resources they leveraged. This attributes the outcome to something they did – which promotes the idea they can do it again. It also takes the focus off of the outcome. The reason for this is because we know from all the academic literature it is not smarts or IQ that leads to success, it’s hard work and grit. You want to let your child know that with hard work and determination they are capable of achieving anything they set their mind to, helping improve their self-confidence.
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How do you encourage a growth mindset within your child? Let me know in the comments below! For other tips on how to build confident children, subscribe to my newsletter to receive my Weekly Juice directly to your inbox.
Raising Confident Children
Continuing with this month’s theme of raising confident children, in today’s Weekly Juice I walk you through how to shift your child from a pessimist mindset to an optimistic mindset in any given situation.
Now, this is not about turning your child into an optimist all the time. Sometimes we need a dose of pessimism in certain situations. For example, if your daughter becomes an airline pilot, I want her to be pessimistic about checking those wings one last time for ice. Pessimism just might save your life in this case. But for the most part, it’s important to instill a general, day-to-day dispositional optimism in your child’s life so that they feel confident that in general, things are working out for them. This optimistic outlook on life will help your child live a happier and healthier life. Another plus is that optimism fuels perseverance, one of the most important factors for achieving success.
Here are my tips on how you can help your child (and yourself) move from a pessimistic mindset to an optimistic mindset.
Permanent to Temporary
It’s important if your child faces failure that you encourage them to look at the situation as temporary. It’s not a reflection of who they are as a person and there is always room for improvement. One bad test score doesn’t mean that they will receive a bad grade on every test moving forward. You may even suggest to them to make a list of ways that they can improve so they have something to reference in the future.
Pervasive to Specific
Encourage your child to look at each failure individually. A bad test score in calculus does not mean that they are bad at math in general – it may just mean that they didn’t do so well on that particular test or that calculus is harder for them than algebra.
Personal to Non-Personal
Teaching your children to look at failure as non-personal will allow them to change their mindset from pessimist to optimist. Just because you fail at something, doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. It just means maybe you didn’t study hard enough, or you used the wrong strategy to approach the task. By making the failure non-personal you give your children hope that with a change in their approach, they can succeed.
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What are your tips for shifting your child from a pessimistic mindset to an optimistic mindset? Let me know in the comments below! For other tips on how to build confident children, subscribe to my newsletter to receive Your Weekly Juice directly to your inbox.
Raising Confident Children
This month, I am focusing on how to raise confident children, so for the next four Weekly Juice episodes, I will offer you tips and advice on how to build your child’s confidence. If you don’t have children, these tips will be helpful to you too!
As parents, we never want to see our kids suffer and that makes it hard not to get involved in their lives and provide input when it comes to problem-solving. The issue with helping children solve their problems is that they will never believe that they are capable of doing it themselves. If they don’t believe that they are able to solve their own problems, they will become anxious and stressed every time something goes wrong. When you help build your child’s confidence in their own problem-solving abilities, you help teach them that even if something does go wrong, they possess the skills to find a solution.
Here is my step-by-step process on how to help build your child’s confidence so that they can become better at solving their own problems.
Ask your child to spend some time alone to think of 3 solutions to their problem. This allows them time to think about the best solution and plan the best course of action to solve their problem.
Listen and Brainstorm
Regroup with your child and let them explain each solution to you in detail. Listen to their explanations and help them brainstorm further. By doing this, you are teaching your child to problem solve and how to think for themselves while still guiding them to a good outcome. When you co-create a solution with your child, they are more likely to follow through because it was their idea in the first place.
Encourage your child to choose the best solution based on the information they talked about with you. By encouraging so, you are building confidence and self-efficacy when it comes to problem-solving. Not to mention, they are going to feel pretty great about themselves knowing that they were able to come to a solution on their own.
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How do encourage your children to think for themselves? Let me know in the comments below! For other tips on how to build confident children, subscribe to my newsletter to receive my Weekly Juice directly to your inbox.
In this episode of Your Weekly Juice, I interview my dear friend, Shannon Polly, Principal of Shannon Polly & Associates and Professional Certified Coach, who is expert on presentation skills and executive presence. After spending years as a professional actress, Shannon now shares her wisdom with her clients on how to fully engage with their audience and how to build confidence before giving a talk or presentation.
Here is a summary of Shannon’s 3 tips for overcoming your fear of public speaking:
Before giving your next presentation think about how do you manage your own tension in your body when you are standing in front of a group of people. Shannon encourages you not to see anxiety as a problem. Being nervous when public speaking is completely normal and is something many people struggle with. Focus on your breathing – breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. Exhale twice as long as you inhale. By focusing on your breathing you are taking your focus away from your nerves.
What do you want your audience to think, feel or do after your presentation? Focus on the outcome and the information you are presenting this will help you better connect with your audience.
When giving a presentation, focus on your audience. You are more likely to combat your fear of public speaking when your attention is directed to others rather than yourself.
I’d Love Your Feedback
What are your tips for overcoming your fear of public speaking? Please leave them in the comments below!
Did you enjoy my book, Wire Your Brain for Confidence, The Science of Conquering Self Doubt? If so, would you mind leaving me a review onAmazon.com? I will be forever grateful. Thank you!
In this Weekly Juice, I interview my dear friend Dr. Elaine O’Brien, an expert in the psychology of health, positive medicine, and fitness. She also holds a doctorate in the (Positive) Psychology of Human Movement from Temple University. In this interview, I asked Elaine how exercise and movement can increase confidence levels.
Elaine has been an inspiration to me and thousands around the world so I hope you enjoy!
If you want more tips and tools on how to increase your confidence and live the life you have always wanted, be sure to read my book, Wire Your Brain for Confidence; the Science of Conquering Self-Doubt. Download the first chapter for free!