Strategies And Tips For Living Your Most Confident And Happiest Life

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15 April 2020

This is what makes you feel lonely (FYI: It’s not being alone)

Are you feeling lonely in self-isolation or quarantine? Some people might tell you to just phone a friend or join a zoom call and that should help you feel less lonely. But that is not necessarily the right answer. There are lots of people who feel lonely even when they are surrounded by many people. So what is the one contributing factor to loneliness then? Listen in to this week’s Juice to find out: 

Are you feeling lonely? Loneliness has become quite an epidemic in Canada, in North America, and around the world. The UK has a Minister of Loneliness because it can be a troubling thing when people are feeling lonely. We may think that we’re all feeling more lonely these days because we’re alone, but in fact, that is not the contributing factor to loneliness. There are a lot of people who feel lonely, even surrounded by lots of people, and there are lots of people who don’t feel lonely at all, even when they’re home alone quite a bit of the time.

One difference between being alone and feeling lonely is, do you feel that you belong?

Even though I’m home alone, I feel that I belong with my family, with my daughters. I feel that I belong to my extended family. I feel that I belong within my community. I feel I belong with my neighbors. I feel that I belong with my incredible circle of girlfriends and other friends. I feel like I belong and therefore, I don’t feel lonely. Some of you listening to this might say, “I don’t feel like I belong anywhere”. My heart goes out to you because that feeling of social connectedness is so important to us. It is a real human need that we need as human beings to thrive, to flourish. It is so important to our wellbeing. So if you’re thinking to yourself, I really don’t belong anywhere, then ask yourself:

When was there a time in your life where you did feel that you belonged?

Was there a group that you did feel you belonged to? Are those people still around? Could you reach out to them? Could you reignite some sort of exchange with them again? Because if you felt that you belong before, perhaps you could reengage that feeling of belonging with those people in your life. Once again, if the answer is no, then now I’m going to turn to the research done by Dr. Isaac Prilleltensky. And what he talks about is at the center of belonging is this idea of mattering. There are 2 contributing factors to feeling we matter:

Do we feel that we matter?

From a self point of view, do we feel appreciated by this group of people? Do we feel respected by this group of people? Do we feel recognized by this group of people? If we didn’t show up, would they care? Would they call? Would they even notice? But this is only 50% of the mattering equation. The second is:

Where do I bring value?

How can I bring value to the world? How can I contribute to the world? Think about the lady across the street that you go and check in on to make sure she has groceries and to make sure that she’s being taken care of. You matter to her. If you’re not feeling that self value, you can matter to somebody else. Now is the time to think about how you can reach out to others and to help them because you do matter to those people.

If you’re really feeling lonely, sometimes this can cause depression and you don’t really feel like reaching out to other people to see how you can help when you don’t have that kind of energy for yourself. So be aware that that might be stopping you. Be aware that that could be your obstacle. And if you can get over that hump and say, where can I add value? Where can I help right now? I think you will see cracks in that and know that whatever you do, small or big, whatever your contribution is, it is valued in this world, especially today. People need you.

I am having people join me online for weekly watercooler talks. If you are feeling lonely, and you think you might want to join in, please do. We are fostering a sense of belonging in the watercooler. Everyone is welcome!

Join my virtual watercooler talks!

What is a well-being watercooler? When I used to work in an office, every time I went to refresh my coffee in the kitchen or get water at the watercooler, I would run into others and stop and chat. I wouldn’t chat for long, maybe just 5 minutes, but it broke up the monotony of my day and kept me up to date on my co-workers’ lives.


My virtual watercooler sessions will be an opportunity to learn one science-backed well-being tool in 15 minutes or less and then I create virtual smaller watercooler groups so that you can meet new people, discuss and chat. This is not a time to talk about coronavirus! It is a time to talk about something uplifting, interesting or positive in your life. It is a time for you to take a social break, do some networking and have some laughs!

I will run these watercooler sessions twice a week, Monday and  Thursday at 2pm EST, 30 minutes from start to finish, for the next two weeks ending Thursday April 23rd. I may continue, if there is interest so stay tuned.

Register now

If you’re interested in learning more about ‘mattering’ from Isaac Prilleltensky you can watch this talk:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eqrmhUUbryQ&t=42s

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What Others Are Saying...

The workshop is very dynamic and time flies. It definitely gave me more consciousness of what I think, I feel, do and how I can do a much better job. The content is powerful and so are the exercises and resources provided. I do think that this is the first step to a happier, fulfilling life. I would love to take more workshops about this subject. Thank you Louisa so much for this opportunity. I had the best 6 weeks.

Brenda Bojorquez

Senior Manager – Scotiabank

I love your video blogs and your recent talk to entrepreneurs you have a way of distilling the science into real actionable interventions. Also the talk you did re contingent self esteem was a Wow and my clients have really benefitted from learning about it. You take the ivory tower to main street. I also really admire your authenticity and use of self. You are an exemplar.”

Phoebe Atkinson

Trainer Educator Practitioner

Thank you very much for taking the time to present to us here at Sterling Hall on Tuesday. I have had numerous teachers, parents, and administrators say what an incredible session it was. All of our brains are brimming with programming and activities we can implement both at home and at school to help our students and children realize their character strengths and use them to help build their resiliency. So, thank you again.

Erica Sprules

Manager – The Sterling Hall School

After spending years studying the roots of confidence, Louisa Jewell offers a toolkit for building and rebuilding it.

Adam Grant

Thank you for a great course! It was a wonderful class – full of useful and thought-provoking information. And, I liked the balance of classroom learning (which I love) and some exercises to apply what we talk about. You are also able to handle all sorts of questions well. I was so curious – I hope I did not bombard you with too many questions as I was loving what we discussed and wanted to learn more! Kudos to you on your continued success with all the work you do. Warm Regards and continued success – it is well-deserved.

Steffi Black

Life/Career Coach & Kindness Advocate for Schools - Steffi Black Coaching

I loved Louisa Jewell’s Flourishing 101 workshop series. I learned so much about happiness, positivity and how to increase both. I have so many new tools to use and am able to refer to them whenever I need to. It’s been extremely useful and I recommend it to anyone!

Kristy S. Simpson

The flourishing 101 course was an eye opener. When you look for the positive around you, guess what you actually find more of the positive. It?s the power of intention. I discovered how I could use my top strengths to create more success in my personal life and career. Sometimes what we are naturally good at we take for granted. This course will change how you interact with others and bring more positivity

Sarah Clark

CPC Health Coach - Sesa Coaching

Thank you again so much for the excellent session! It is so valuable and pertinent and, as I mentioned at the beginning, theoretically grounded and also practical – a rare and wonderful combination.

Valerie Ward

Co-Developer and Owner - Employment Readiness Scale

Thank you again for another great webinar. You and Shannon are both so engaging. It is rare in a webinar to actually feel that we are all in the room together. Somehow you both pull it off with your deep knowledge, warmth and energy. Your sessions offer a lot of value. The content is clear and compelling, and the exercises are highly relevant and immediately useful. I’m really enjoying taking the time to immerse myself in this more fully. I have taken webinar courses from other organizations and they could learn a thing or two from you and Shannon about effective webinars! You are doing important work. Nicely done.

Carolyn Meacher

Innovation Leadership Coach

Louisa has the unique ability to engage a diverse audience with her expertise, humour and engaging style. As our key note speaker she enlightened the audience on the science of happiness and how happiness effects our well-being. The feedback was overwhelmingly positive; guests were inspired and delighted to listen to such a knowledgeable professional about a topic that everyone craves to know more about. I would recommend Louisa as a key note speaker, she is truly one of a kind!

Roz Baker

Project Director, Signature Events

Let me just say WOW, WOW, WOW!!! You are a pleasure and a joy! Everybody loved your presentation, your warmth, kindness, approachability, and collaborative approach! Thank you so much for a phenomenal conference. The afternoon portion was also fantastic and more intimate which was really lovely, and it got all of us to breathe and connect more with one another. I cannot wait until our next opportunity to meet again, it was a very moving and concrete presentation, you are a natural and your delivery is so very genuine!

Annalise Iten

Director Job Search Program

Plain and simply speaking, you were a hit! Your morning keynote address set a meaningful, happy, and upbeat tone for the rest of the conference. Our staff responded to your presentation style and message because it is what we needed to hear and feel at this time. We are a great College, with great staff, and May is the end of a full and active year of classes and programs, successes and challenges. Thank you for helping to make our conference a great success.

Brian Benn, M. Ed.

Associate Director, Organizational Development

Louisa was my instructor for The Flourishing Center’s CAPP (Certificate in Applied Positive Psychology) course held in Toronto Canada. She was excellent in her delivery and included many different approaches to teaching and learning which helped me retain the information better than any other course I have taken. Her enthusiasm and commitment to her work is an inspiration and she is brilliant at what she does. Thank you Louisa for opening up the world to brand new possibilities for me. You are a gem in the world of positive psychology and beyond!!!!

Barbara Santen

Registered Midwife & Relationship Coach

You can’t help but feel better about yourself after spending some time with Louisa. Her energy and enthusiasm is infectious, mix that with her engaging teaching style and you have the ideal learning environment for anyone interested in positive psychology. I have been blessed to learn from Louisa in a classroom and conference setting and I can honestly say that she has changed my life.

Glendale Reyes

Bboy League

Timely and well-written, Jewell helps translate complex research into a book that is understandable, practical, and vital for not just surviving the modern world, but remaking it. Amidst all the competition, demands upon our time, and societal pressure, Jewell provides a clear path forward, not only for you but for girls and women everywhere striving to define success and worth for themselves.

Shawn Achor

NYTimes bestselling author of The Happiness Advantage

#1 NY Times bestselling author, Happy for No Reason and Chicken Soup for the Woman’s Soul

Wire Your Brain for Confidence offers a practical step-by-step guide to achieving goals for anyone who has struggled with self-doubt. Louisa Jewell demystifies the science behind action-oriented confidence and makes it accessible to all. This book will empower you to go for your dreams and live your happiest life.

Marci Shimoff

On our path towards a happier life, there may be no more important journey than the one from self-doubt to self-confidence. In Wire Your Brain for Confidence, Louisa Jewell provides an easy-to-use yet well-researched map that you can use for this important journey.

Tal Ben-Shahar

New York Times bestselling author of Happier

#1 New York Times bestselling author of How Full is Your Bucket?, StrengthsFinder 2.0, Eat Move Sleep & Are You Fully Charged?

Louisa Jewell has written a brilliant book that is steeped in research, filled with novel ideas, and memorable stories. I learned things from this book that I will use for years to come.

Tom Rath

Louisa delivered a fantastic workshop on the topic of personal resilience and learning to embrace failure. Her session was refreshing, entertaining and very pertinent to our work with students.

The strategies she provided are ones we can apply right away. Our time with her simply flew by! I highly recommend Louisa as she is both an expert on and shining example of the power of positive psychology.

Jen Tigno

Manager, Advising & Learning Skills Services, Academic Advising & Career Centre

It would have taken me months of independent study to learn what I have learnt in just six short weeks. The classes were lively, engaging and down to earth. The practical examples and stories made the research come alive.

I especially loved the home happiness boosters turned my A-ha Moments into easy action steps with big impact. Flourishing 101 made a positive impact on my life and has given me powerful resources that I will continue to use daily.

Louisa is as generous as she is knowledgeable. If you want to be happier, don’t miss this chance to learn the secrets of flourishing from a leader in the field of Positive Psychology!

Shirin Khamisa

Career counsellor & Certified ICF Coach – Careers by Design

The Watercooler sessions that you offer have meant the world to me during this most challenging time in our lives. From the coronavirus to the Black Lives Matter movement, to political unrest, this is an unprecedented time in history. I am so thankful for your generosity and your teachings. You truly are a gift! Your sessions have kept me grounded and working towards being resilient, with a new awareness around the importance of well-being in everyday life and in the most trying of times. The tools you share and the way you explain them and then allow us to practice them, has been invaluable. What you’ve taught me, I’ve passed along to friends and family and in turn, helped them too. So your teachings are multiplied and touch more people than you know! A heartfelt thank you to you, Louisa!

Diane Pincus

I had long struggled with my lack of motivation and my fear of the world. I didn’t have enough confidence in myself to start conversations with strangers or to try new things. I was unhappy with the small and empty way I was living my life and I wanted to make a change, but I didn’t know how or if I could. I found the answers I was looking for in this course.

It opened my eyes to the traps I was falling into and it gave me the knowledge and more importantly, the strategies I needed to overcome them. Once I started to apply some of those strategies and to do the exercises, I started to have a more positive outlook. With that new attitude, I embraced the findings and philosophies the workshop presented and gained the courage I needed to grow into a more productive and resilient person. Now I feel more in control of my life and hopeful for my future. Friends and family have told me I’m lighter and more confident. I have mended bad relationships and accomplished long-term goals. I feel like I’ve finally left my state of arrested development behind and entered adulthood. I owe that to Louisa and Flourishing 101.

Collette Johns

The Resilience for High Performance seminar delivered by Louisa Jewell to our sales and services teams at Patient News was interesting, entertaining and highly effective. Louisa clearly has full command of the subject. She delivered the content, true to the theme of her book, with total confidence, wit and rigor. Leading up to the session, Louisa took the time to really get to know our company, team and objectives and brilliantly structured the afternoon to meet our specific needs. From individual character strength identification to uncovering the 6 pillars of wellness, the content really engaged and I received many overwhelmingly positive comments from session participants. What really resonated were the “actual tools” Louisa introduced to help attendees incorporate the learnings into real practice. I even heard one of our senior sales executives on the phone with a prospective client saying “I work with an amazing organization that really cares about people. We recently had an expert in Positive Phycology here to coach us on how to been more effective, productive and happy. She was fantastic”. I highly recommend Louisa Jewell to any organization wanting to enhance the performance and interconnectedness of their teams. The Resilience for High Performance program is for you!

Karen Galley

President, Patient News 

1) I felt that the PD with Louisa Jewell really had an effect on me in a very positive way. I could not stop talking and thinking about her discussions for a week or more after. It had such an impact on me that I spoke to my friends about that PD. I feel that our school needs these kinds of reminders in order to put ourselves on track and keep us conscious about our behaviors. I would love to continue to have her and listen to her and work. The best speaker and the most interesting topic I can remember.

2) I loved this PD session – more than any other previous PD. What made it unique was the universal applicability to all facets of life – family, work & personal. Ultimately, all of us working on personal growth and self-awareness will make us better role models, teachers, friends, parents, staff

Helen Gin

Middle School Principal

Southlake Regional Health Centre

Louisa was asked to present a full day workshop to our leadership group on Building Resiliency.

Louisa’s professionalism,  expertise,  engaging and interactive style, together with a unique sense of humor made the day not only very enjoyable and worthwhile, but very informative.  I had many leaders express gratitude and appreciation for the learnings  Louisa provided. In addition, prior to the workshop Louisa was very accommodating and flexible, working behind the scenes to help make the day productive.  If you are looking to educate staff or leaders on the topic of building resiliency, I  would definitely not hesitate in recommending  using  Louisa as your facilitator.  You will not be disappointed.

Christopher Cecchini

Vice President, Employee Experience and Chief Human Resources Officer