Strategies And Tips For Living Your Most Confident And Happiest Life

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07 January 2020

New Year, New You?

We’re all being inundated with invitations to join health clubs and start that new diet and detoxes, because this is the time of year when everyone’s thinking, “this is the year I’m going to have that great body that I’ve always wanted!” We set these goals and then usually by the third week of January, we’ve given up on all of those new year’s resolutions. I’ve never set new year’s resolutions because they’ve never worked for me. And research shows that they actually don’t work for most people. However, if you’re thinking that you want to incorporate more fitness and exercise into your everyday routine, then I’ve got some great tips today on how to actually achieve those fitness goals that you want to achieve this year.

1. Ask yourself why? Why do you want to change your fitness levels this year?

Maybe you’re happy with your fitness levels, which is great, or you want to go to the next level, or maybe you’re not working out at all. Research shows that one of the number one contributors to our psychological wellbeing is daily exercise or fitness.

There’s a difference between exercise and physical activity and the research shows that it’s actually an increase in physical activity that improves your psychological wellbeing.

So what’s the difference?

With exercise, we think we have to be going to the gym or doing CrossFit or HIIT, achieving a certain level of cardio in order to be psychologically healthy. In fact, what the research shows, is just moving your body, stretching out the fascia, which is the connective tissue between your muscles, is good for you. And when you’re moving your body every single day, it actually does improve your psychological wellbeing.

When you decide you’re going to increase your physical fitness, do it for yourself. You’re going to do it because you love yourself and because you want to improve your wellbeing. For me, exercise is not about having that perfect body. When I talk about having a great body, I don’t mean that I’m perfectly chiseled or perfectly thin or a little bigger where I want to be. I just want to feel great in my body. My body is far from ‘perfect’ and I don’t care. What is most important for me with my physical activity and my fitness, is that I feel great in my body, that I feel strong in my body, that I feel amazing and sexy no matter how much I weigh or whether I have wrinkles or not, I just want to feel good.

As you start to embark on your fitness goals, think about, what is it for you? What do you want to achieve? Focus on feeling great and vibrant in your body. When you’re always thinking about, achieving fitness goals to look good, you’re never going to get the reward that you want because the next day you’re going to go out and you’re going to see one of your friend who’s the same age as you, who has a body like she’s a 16-year-old. Then you’re going to compare yourself to that person and you’re going to be disappointed. So forget about it. Do it for yourself and do it because you know it’s going to improve your wellbeing and your happiness levels.

2. Start with physical activity that you love.

You love to go for a walk with the dog in Sherwood forest. Go and do that. You love to do hot yoga. Go and do that. You love to dance. Get out to a club and go dancing. Do something you love because that doesn’t take any effort, there’s no resistance, there’s no energy that you have to put out. When someone asks me to go dancing I say, yes! There’s no resistance. When someone asks me to go for a walk with the dog, yes, I love that. There’s no resistance. Start with something you love. There’ll be less resistance.

You might think walking the dog is not going to get you healthy. Yes, it does. Walking is a really good form of physical exercise. You’ll find after you’ve done it for a while, that you’ll be able to do some higher-level things after that.

3. Performing some sort of physical activity takes energy and motivation.

Understanding that you have more of that energy in the morning. When we think about the whole research on self-regulation, is about finding that energy in yourself to do something that you might not be so motivated to do. If you start sending yourself love, you’ll be more motivated.

If you want to take yourself to the next level and you’re a little bit uncomfortable with it, then started at the beginning of the day. You have more self-regulation energy at the beginning of the day than you do at the end of the day. You also have to understand that our self-regulation muscle becomes depleted every time we self-regulate. I you’re trying to set 10 different goals at the beginning of the year, you’re going to eat right, you’re going to exercise, etc., you are depleting way too much of your self-regulation energy. Start with one thing.

For example, you want to start exercising in the morning. There are a few hurdles you have to get over. If you’re not a morning person, you now have to find the energy to wake up early. Then you have to find the energy to get your workout clothes on. Then you have to find the energy to actually leave the house in the cold, for example. Then you have to find the energy to actually get on the bike or treadmill. All of these things take a certain amount of energy. If you really want to start with baby steps, start by just getting up in the morning. Don’t do anything else just for two or three weeks. Just get up early in the morning. After two or three weeks of that, your body is going to be in a new rhythm. It’s going to be on a new clock and it’s going to be easier for you to wake up in the morning. Then make your way outside to go do something. If you’re going to go for a walk or if you’re going to go to yoga or you’re going to go to the gym, whatever it is you’re going to do, that’s the next step.

Remember, you want to start with baby steps. This is why it might take a while. If you start to do these things gradually, they will become more habitual for you as you go and it’ll be easier for you to ease into your fitness routine.

4.  Do it with friends.

Monday nights I want to go to yoga. I have a friend that does Monday night yoga, so I’m going to start doing Monday night yoga with her. I had a friend I was doing Wednesday afternoon swimming and I did that every single week with her for a long time. It’s called social accountability. We are social creatures. We absolutely care about being with our friends and feeling socially connected. Doing exercise with our friends makes it more enjoyable, it’s more pleasurable.

We have that accountability piece. When I did my Wednesday afternoon swims with my friend Angela, I did not want to disappoint her by not showing up or saying I don’t want to go this week or it’s 20 below. I just decided I don’t want to disappoint Angela, I am definitely going to go. You can also build in the social accountability is by stating it on Facebook, putting it out on social media. Feel great and congratulate yourself every time you do something. When you put it out on social media, you’re much more likely to actually achieve it because you know you’ve kind of publicly put it out there.

5. Show yourself self-compassion.

Show yourself self-compassion. Don’t beat yourself up if you didn’t make it out that night, just try again the next day. Don’t worry if your waist isn’t what it “should” look like or your butt size is not what it’s “supposed” to be. It’s this is not about what you look like. This is about loving your body and feeling good in your body. Care less about what other people think and care more about what you feel about yourself in your body. That is what is going to carry you to being, having a healthier life, having longer health in your life. It’s not about increasing your lifespan because if you have a poor quality of life in those final years, then how is that helpful?

You want to be increasing your health span to where you’re actually feeling vibrant and healthy longer in your life. Being self-compassionate is very, very important. Tell yourself every day that you love yourself. Speak to yourself kindly and understand that we live in a world where we are being inundated with all of these images of what we should look like, should hate that word look like. Do it for yourself. Do it because you love yourself and you will feel vibrant and sexy and strong. Trust me, believe me. It’s true.

All right guys, good luck with your fitness goals. And if you want it, I love it when you comment below.

Share with me what do you do to implement your fitness goals?

What do you do to achieve them?

I’d love to have more ideas and tips, please post them below.

Please Leave a Comment

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Brenda Bojorquez

Senior Manager – Scotiabank

I love your video blogs and your recent talk to entrepreneurs you have a way of distilling the science into real actionable interventions. Also the talk you did re contingent self esteem was a Wow and my clients have really benefitted from learning about it. You take the ivory tower to main street. I also really admire your authenticity and use of self. You are an exemplar.”

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Thank you very much for taking the time to present to us here at Sterling Hall on Tuesday. I have had numerous teachers, parents, and administrators say what an incredible session it was. All of our brains are brimming with programming and activities we can implement both at home and at school to help our students and children realize their character strengths and use them to help build their resiliency. So, thank you again.

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After spending years studying the roots of confidence, Louisa Jewell offers a toolkit for building and rebuilding it.

Adam Grant

Thank you for a great course! It was a wonderful class – full of useful and thought-provoking information. And, I liked the balance of classroom learning (which I love) and some exercises to apply what we talk about. You are also able to handle all sorts of questions well. I was so curious – I hope I did not bombard you with too many questions as I was loving what we discussed and wanted to learn more! Kudos to you on your continued success with all the work you do. Warm Regards and continued success – it is well-deserved.

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Life/Career Coach & Kindness Advocate for Schools - Steffi Black Coaching

I loved Louisa Jewell’s Flourishing 101 workshop series. I learned so much about happiness, positivity and how to increase both. I have so many new tools to use and am able to refer to them whenever I need to. It’s been extremely useful and I recommend it to anyone!

Kristy S. Simpson

The flourishing 101 course was an eye opener. When you look for the positive around you, guess what you actually find more of the positive. It?s the power of intention. I discovered how I could use my top strengths to create more success in my personal life and career. Sometimes what we are naturally good at we take for granted. This course will change how you interact with others and bring more positivity

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Thank you again so much for the excellent session! It is so valuable and pertinent and, as I mentioned at the beginning, theoretically grounded and also practical – a rare and wonderful combination.

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Thank you again for another great webinar. You and Shannon are both so engaging. It is rare in a webinar to actually feel that we are all in the room together. Somehow you both pull it off with your deep knowledge, warmth and energy. Your sessions offer a lot of value. The content is clear and compelling, and the exercises are highly relevant and immediately useful. I’m really enjoying taking the time to immerse myself in this more fully. I have taken webinar courses from other organizations and they could learn a thing or two from you and Shannon about effective webinars! You are doing important work. Nicely done.

Carolyn Meacher

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Louisa has the unique ability to engage a diverse audience with her expertise, humour and engaging style. As our key note speaker she enlightened the audience on the science of happiness and how happiness effects our well-being. The feedback was overwhelmingly positive; guests were inspired and delighted to listen to such a knowledgeable professional about a topic that everyone craves to know more about. I would recommend Louisa as a key note speaker, she is truly one of a kind!

Roz Baker

Project Director, Signature Events

Let me just say WOW, WOW, WOW!!! You are a pleasure and a joy! Everybody loved your presentation, your warmth, kindness, approachability, and collaborative approach! Thank you so much for a phenomenal conference. The afternoon portion was also fantastic and more intimate which was really lovely, and it got all of us to breathe and connect more with one another. I cannot wait until our next opportunity to meet again, it was a very moving and concrete presentation, you are a natural and your delivery is so very genuine!

Annalise Iten

Director Job Search Program

Plain and simply speaking, you were a hit! Your morning keynote address set a meaningful, happy, and upbeat tone for the rest of the conference. Our staff responded to your presentation style and message because it is what we needed to hear and feel at this time. We are a great College, with great staff, and May is the end of a full and active year of classes and programs, successes and challenges. Thank you for helping to make our conference a great success.

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Louisa was my instructor for The Flourishing Center’s CAPP (Certificate in Applied Positive Psychology) course held in Toronto Canada. She was excellent in her delivery and included many different approaches to teaching and learning which helped me retain the information better than any other course I have taken. Her enthusiasm and commitment to her work is an inspiration and she is brilliant at what she does. Thank you Louisa for opening up the world to brand new possibilities for me. You are a gem in the world of positive psychology and beyond!!!!

Barbara Santen

Registered Midwife & Relationship Coach

You can’t help but feel better about yourself after spending some time with Louisa. Her energy and enthusiasm is infectious, mix that with her engaging teaching style and you have the ideal learning environment for anyone interested in positive psychology. I have been blessed to learn from Louisa in a classroom and conference setting and I can honestly say that she has changed my life.

Glendale Reyes

Bboy League

Timely and well-written, Jewell helps translate complex research into a book that is understandable, practical, and vital for not just surviving the modern world, but remaking it. Amidst all the competition, demands upon our time, and societal pressure, Jewell provides a clear path forward, not only for you but for girls and women everywhere striving to define success and worth for themselves.

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NYTimes bestselling author of The Happiness Advantage

#1 NY Times bestselling author, Happy for No Reason and Chicken Soup for the Woman’s Soul

Wire Your Brain for Confidence offers a practical step-by-step guide to achieving goals for anyone who has struggled with self-doubt. Louisa Jewell demystifies the science behind action-oriented confidence and makes it accessible to all. This book will empower you to go for your dreams and live your happiest life.

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#1 New York Times bestselling author of How Full is Your Bucket?, StrengthsFinder 2.0, Eat Move Sleep & Are You Fully Charged?

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Tom Rath

Louisa delivered a fantastic workshop on the topic of personal resilience and learning to embrace failure. Her session was refreshing, entertaining and very pertinent to our work with students.

The strategies she provided are ones we can apply right away. Our time with her simply flew by! I highly recommend Louisa as she is both an expert on and shining example of the power of positive psychology.

Jen Tigno

Manager, Advising & Learning Skills Services, Academic Advising & Career Centre

It would have taken me months of independent study to learn what I have learnt in just six short weeks. The classes were lively, engaging and down to earth. The practical examples and stories made the research come alive.

I especially loved the home happiness boosters turned my A-ha Moments into easy action steps with big impact. Flourishing 101 made a positive impact on my life and has given me powerful resources that I will continue to use daily.

Louisa is as generous as she is knowledgeable. If you want to be happier, don’t miss this chance to learn the secrets of flourishing from a leader in the field of Positive Psychology!

Shirin Khamisa

Career counsellor & Certified ICF Coach – Careers by Design

The Watercooler sessions that you offer have meant the world to me during this most challenging time in our lives. From the coronavirus to the Black Lives Matter movement, to political unrest, this is an unprecedented time in history. I am so thankful for your generosity and your teachings. You truly are a gift! Your sessions have kept me grounded and working towards being resilient, with a new awareness around the importance of well-being in everyday life and in the most trying of times. The tools you share and the way you explain them and then allow us to practice them, has been invaluable. What you’ve taught me, I’ve passed along to friends and family and in turn, helped them too. So your teachings are multiplied and touch more people than you know! A heartfelt thank you to you, Louisa!

Diane Pincus

I had long struggled with my lack of motivation and my fear of the world. I didn’t have enough confidence in myself to start conversations with strangers or to try new things. I was unhappy with the small and empty way I was living my life and I wanted to make a change, but I didn’t know how or if I could. I found the answers I was looking for in this course.

It opened my eyes to the traps I was falling into and it gave me the knowledge and more importantly, the strategies I needed to overcome them. Once I started to apply some of those strategies and to do the exercises, I started to have a more positive outlook. With that new attitude, I embraced the findings and philosophies the workshop presented and gained the courage I needed to grow into a more productive and resilient person. Now I feel more in control of my life and hopeful for my future. Friends and family have told me I’m lighter and more confident. I have mended bad relationships and accomplished long-term goals. I feel like I’ve finally left my state of arrested development behind and entered adulthood. I owe that to Louisa and Flourishing 101.

Collette Johns

The Resilience for High Performance seminar delivered by Louisa Jewell to our sales and services teams at Patient News was interesting, entertaining and highly effective. Louisa clearly has full command of the subject. She delivered the content, true to the theme of her book, with total confidence, wit and rigor. Leading up to the session, Louisa took the time to really get to know our company, team and objectives and brilliantly structured the afternoon to meet our specific needs. From individual character strength identification to uncovering the 6 pillars of wellness, the content really engaged and I received many overwhelmingly positive comments from session participants. What really resonated were the “actual tools” Louisa introduced to help attendees incorporate the learnings into real practice. I even heard one of our senior sales executives on the phone with a prospective client saying “I work with an amazing organization that really cares about people. We recently had an expert in Positive Phycology here to coach us on how to been more effective, productive and happy. She was fantastic”. I highly recommend Louisa Jewell to any organization wanting to enhance the performance and interconnectedness of their teams. The Resilience for High Performance program is for you!

Karen Galley

President, Patient News 

1) I felt that the PD with Louisa Jewell really had an effect on me in a very positive way. I could not stop talking and thinking about her discussions for a week or more after. It had such an impact on me that I spoke to my friends about that PD. I feel that our school needs these kinds of reminders in order to put ourselves on track and keep us conscious about our behaviors. I would love to continue to have her and listen to her and work. The best speaker and the most interesting topic I can remember.

2) I loved this PD session – more than any other previous PD. What made it unique was the universal applicability to all facets of life – family, work & personal. Ultimately, all of us working on personal growth and self-awareness will make us better role models, teachers, friends, parents, staff

Helen Gin

Middle School Principal

Southlake Regional Health Centre

Louisa was asked to present a full day workshop to our leadership group on Building Resiliency.

Louisa’s professionalism,  expertise,  engaging and interactive style, together with a unique sense of humor made the day not only very enjoyable and worthwhile, but very informative.  I had many leaders express gratitude and appreciation for the learnings  Louisa provided. In addition, prior to the workshop Louisa was very accommodating and flexible, working behind the scenes to help make the day productive.  If you are looking to educate staff or leaders on the topic of building resiliency, I  would definitely not hesitate in recommending  using  Louisa as your facilitator.  You will not be disappointed.

Christopher Cecchini

Vice President, Employee Experience and Chief Human Resources Officer