Strategies And Tips For Living Your Most Confident And Happiest Life
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How to manage the stressful fear of coronavirus
I hope you are all staying safe and healthy and staying in your home, social distancing; I know that can be very difficult at this time. If you did not see last week’s post, I hope you will watch last week’s post. I had four different strategies on how you can stay healthy and happy and be resilient during this time of crisis.
Today, I want to do more of that and I really want to focus on how to reduce the fear of coronavirus because this is pretty fearful stuff. You know, we’re fearful of the consequences; What if I get coronavirus? What if one of my children gets coronavirus? What if one of my best friends, my family, my extended family?
The other fear is ‘am I going to lose my shirt?’ I think about how I was going to put my house on the market. I can’t put it on the market anymore because of the coronavirus. I’m thinking, what if this cuts my housing price in half? I don’t even want to look at my stock portfolio right now because it’s probably devastated my portfolio, you know? So these are all things that in my head, I’m fearful as to what the economic repercussions are going to be for me.
Keep it in Perspective
The first strategy I want to share with you on how to deal with all of these fears is to keep it in perspective.
So, I think about the worst-case scenario to put things in perspective. And I think:
‘What if my house is going to be worth half of what it was earlier in the year?’
‘What if my stock portfolio is half of what it was or a third of what it was before going into this crisis?’
‘What if I get the coronavirus?’
I take each one of those kinds of worst-case scenarios and I try to think about what is the likelihood that that is going to happen.
For example, ‘what if my house is worth half of what it was at the beginning of the year?’ Then, what is the likelihood that that’s going to happen? Well, luckily for me, I live in an area of Toronto where there’s a housing shortage; Toronto has always been a hot market.
Let’s hope that that’s not going to be the case. If that is the case, what would I do? Well, I’m very fortunate. I don’t have to sell my house at this time. I did not buy another house. I don’t have to sell this house at this time. I’m fortunate that I have the financial resources to keep it for another year if I want to keep it for another year. This is not going to be the end of the world.
If the worst-case happens, it’s not going to be the end of the world for me. What if that happens, though? Then I will put a plan in place, maybe renegotiate the mortgage that I have, etcetera. I’m starting to think about all the things I can do to maintain the house that I have if I have to stay in it for another year or two.
So that’s good. And also keeping it in perspective;
At least I’m not going to be homeless.
At least I still have a roof over my head.
At least I have a place for my family to live.
When I think about keeping it in perspective, I think of the people around the world. We live better in Canada than a good percentage of the population around the world. Even if I did lose my home, I’m still way better off than a lot of people who live in this world. I’ve got to keep things in perspective. It’s not great to think about that but I know me, I will recover. I will find other ways to make revenue and I will succeed and I’m confident that I will do that. I’m confident that you will do it and you will succeed and we can all help each other as well.
I know through the graciousness and the generosity of friends that have shown me their beauty, I know that things are going to be okay in the end. So, think of the worst-case scenario then really ask yourself what is the most likely scenario and then put a plan in place for what you’re going to do should the worst-case scenario happen. That’s how I put things in perspective.
I’ll deal with it then.
The second tool I want to talk to you about is the tool I call ‘I’ll deal with it then’. When I think about getting the coronavirus, instead of being fearful, first of all, I put it in perspective, then I think, well what if the worst case was to happen? – I put a plan in place for that.
I have all the medications I need to be prepared should I get the coronavirus. I have a plan in place for what’s going to happen with my daughter who lives with me, should we need to be isolated from each other.
I will deal with it then instead of worrying about something that hasn’t even happened yet. I say to myself, well, if it happens to me, I will worry about it then I will deal with it then. Worrying about something that hasn’t happened yet is really a waste of my energy. I need that energy to go and do good things in the world, to help others, to help my daughter, to help my community and my friends. I am not going to worry about something that hasn’t happened yet.
Stop Ruminating
The third strategy is to stop ruminating. What is ruminating? Well, ruminating is when you know you think about something – you’ve got this fear, this stressor, and you think about it over and over and over again. It’s these repetitive thoughts that happen which scientists now know is the number one contributor to female depression. Why female depression? Because women do it way more than men do. And that’s the real difference. That’s why women have twice the likelihood of depression as men. It’s because we do this obsessive thinking and we think we’re solving the problem, but we’re actually not. We’re actually just thinking about it over and over.
And what is that doing? That’s putting all those stress hormones into your body again, every time you think about it. So every time you start going into that obsessive repetitive thought, just stop. Have an awareness when you go into these things and then ask yourself, what is the fear that I’m obsessing about? Because if you can’t name it, you can’t tame it.
So ask yourself, ‘what is the fear?’ What keeps coming back into my body all the time? Identify what the fear is, name it, and then solve it. Solve the problem. And if it’s something that’s out of your control, then you’ve got to let it go. Decide what is in your control and let the rest go. Stop the ruminating because that ruminating is just going to crush your wellbeing. It is not going to help you be resilient at this time. You have to make a decision to stop.
Awareness
Another strategy that I use, if I find myself fearful and ruminating about something, I first become aware of it and then train my brain to focus on something else. Have a happy and comforting thought. So instead of ruminating, become aware and then have a go-to thought.
Hopefully, these strategies were helpful on how to reduce the fear of the coronavirus.
If you are shut in; if you are feeling lonely; if you are alone at this time; I have created ‘wellbeing water-cooler chats’. They have been Monday and Thursday every week at 2:00 PM. I give one wellbeing tip for 3 minutes and then we just spend 15 minutes socializing, talking. We could ask questions, I’d put people into groups. I have a few more coming up until April 9th, and I might continue if people want me to continue. It’s just a way to get out of this lonely space at home. If you’re feeling isolated, come join us. We would love to see you! You can register here.
I’m sending you all my positive energy and I am praying for all of you to stay safe and healthy! If you have any questions for me, or if I can be of any help to you, please reach out at louisa@louisajewell.com.
What Others Are Saying...
The workshop is very dynamic and time flies. It definitely gave me more consciousness of what I think, I feel, do and how I can do a much better job. The content is powerful and so are the exercises and resources provided. I do think that this is the first step to a happier, fulfilling life. I would love to take more workshops about this subject. Thank you Louisa so much for this opportunity. I had the best 6 weeks.
Brenda Bojorquez
Senior Manager – Scotiabank
I love your video blogs and your recent talk to entrepreneurs you have a way of distilling the science into real actionable interventions. Also the talk you did re contingent self esteem was a Wow and my clients have really benefitted from learning about it. You take the ivory tower to main street. I also really admire your authenticity and use of self. You are an exemplar.”
Phoebe Atkinson
Trainer Educator Practitioner
Thank you very much for taking the time to present to us here at Sterling Hall on Tuesday. I have had numerous teachers, parents, and administrators say what an incredible session it was. All of our brains are brimming with programming and activities we can implement both at home and at school to help our students and children realize their character strengths and use them to help build their resiliency. So, thank you again.
Erica Sprules
Manager – The Sterling Hall School
After spending years studying the roots of confidence, Louisa Jewell offers a toolkit for building and rebuilding it.
Adam Grant
Thank you for a great course! It was a wonderful class – full of useful and thought-provoking information. And, I liked the balance of classroom learning (which I love) and some exercises to apply what we talk about. You are also able to handle all sorts of questions well. I was so curious – I hope I did not bombard you with too many questions as I was loving what we discussed and wanted to learn more! Kudos to you on your continued success with all the work you do. Warm Regards and continued success – it is well-deserved.
Steffi Black
Life/Career Coach & Kindness Advocate for Schools - Steffi Black Coaching
I loved Louisa Jewell’s Flourishing 101 workshop series. I learned so much about happiness, positivity and how to increase both. I have so many new tools to use and am able to refer to them whenever I need to. It’s been extremely useful and I recommend it to anyone!
Kristy S. Simpson
The flourishing 101 course was an eye opener. When you look for the positive around you, guess what you actually find more of the positive. It?s the power of intention. I discovered how I could use my top strengths to create more success in my personal life and career. Sometimes what we are naturally good at we take for granted. This course will change how you interact with others and bring more positivity
Sarah Clark
CPC Health Coach - Sesa Coaching
Thank you again so much for the excellent session! It is so valuable and pertinent and, as I mentioned at the beginning, theoretically grounded and also practical – a rare and wonderful combination.
Valerie Ward
Co-Developer and Owner - Employment Readiness Scale
Thank you again for another great webinar. You and Shannon are both so engaging. It is rare in a webinar to actually feel that we are all in the room together. Somehow you both pull it off with your deep knowledge, warmth and energy. Your sessions offer a lot of value. The content is clear and compelling, and the exercises are highly relevant and immediately useful. I’m really enjoying taking the time to immerse myself in this more fully. I have taken webinar courses from other organizations and they could learn a thing or two from you and Shannon about effective webinars! You are doing important work. Nicely done.
Carolyn Meacher
Innovation Leadership Coach
Louisa has the unique ability to engage a diverse audience with her expertise, humour and engaging style. As our key note speaker she enlightened the audience on the science of happiness and how happiness effects our well-being. The feedback was overwhelmingly positive; guests were inspired and delighted to listen to such a knowledgeable professional about a topic that everyone craves to know more about. I would recommend Louisa as a key note speaker, she is truly one of a kind!
Roz Baker
Project Director, Signature Events
Let me just say WOW, WOW, WOW!!! You are a pleasure and a joy! Everybody loved your presentation, your warmth, kindness, approachability, and collaborative approach! Thank you so much for a phenomenal conference. The afternoon portion was also fantastic and more intimate which was really lovely, and it got all of us to breathe and connect more with one another. I cannot wait until our next opportunity to meet again, it was a very moving and concrete presentation, you are a natural and your delivery is so very genuine!
Annalise Iten
Director Job Search Program
Plain and simply speaking, you were a hit! Your morning keynote address set a meaningful, happy, and upbeat tone for the rest of the conference. Our staff responded to your presentation style and message because it is what we needed to hear and feel at this time. We are a great College, with great staff, and May is the end of a full and active year of classes and programs, successes and challenges. Thank you for helping to make our conference a great success.
Brian Benn, M. Ed.
Associate Director, Organizational Development
Louisa was my instructor for The Flourishing Center’s CAPP (Certificate in Applied Positive Psychology) course held in Toronto Canada. She was excellent in her delivery and included many different approaches to teaching and learning which helped me retain the information better than any other course I have taken. Her enthusiasm and commitment to her work is an inspiration and she is brilliant at what she does. Thank you Louisa for opening up the world to brand new possibilities for me. You are a gem in the world of positive psychology and beyond!!!!
Barbara Santen
Registered Midwife & Relationship Coach
You can’t help but feel better about yourself after spending some time with Louisa. Her energy and enthusiasm is infectious, mix that with her engaging teaching style and you have the ideal learning environment for anyone interested in positive psychology. I have been blessed to learn from Louisa in a classroom and conference setting and I can honestly say that she has changed my life.
Glendale Reyes
Bboy League
Timely and well-written, Jewell helps translate complex research into a book that is understandable, practical, and vital for not just surviving the modern world, but remaking it. Amidst all the competition, demands upon our time, and societal pressure, Jewell provides a clear path forward, not only for you but for girls and women everywhere striving to define success and worth for themselves.
Shawn Achor
NYTimes bestselling author of The Happiness Advantage
#1 NY Times bestselling author, Happy for No Reason and Chicken Soup for the Woman’s Soul
Wire Your Brain for Confidence offers a practical step-by-step guide to achieving goals for anyone who has struggled with self-doubt. Louisa Jewell demystifies the science behind action-oriented confidence and makes it accessible to all. This book will empower you to go for your dreams and live your happiest life.
Marci Shimoff
On our path towards a happier life, there may be no more important journey than the one from self-doubt to self-confidence. In Wire Your Brain for Confidence, Louisa Jewell provides an easy-to-use yet well-researched map that you can use for this important journey.
Tal Ben-Shahar
New York Times bestselling author of Happier
#1 New York Times bestselling author of How Full is Your Bucket?, StrengthsFinder 2.0, Eat Move Sleep & Are You Fully Charged?
Louisa Jewell has written a brilliant book that is steeped in research, filled with novel ideas, and memorable stories. I learned things from this book that I will use for years to come.
Tom Rath
Louisa delivered a fantastic workshop on the topic of personal resilience and learning to embrace failure. Her session was refreshing, entertaining and very pertinent to our work with students.
The strategies she provided are ones we can apply right away. Our time with her simply flew by! I highly recommend Louisa as she is both an expert on and shining example of the power of positive psychology.
Jen Tigno
Manager, Advising & Learning Skills Services, Academic Advising & Career Centre
It would have taken me months of independent study to learn what I have learnt in just six short weeks. The classes were lively, engaging and down to earth. The practical examples and stories made the research come alive.
I especially loved the home happiness boosters turned my A-ha Moments into easy action steps with big impact. Flourishing 101 made a positive impact on my life and has given me powerful resources that I will continue to use daily.
Louisa is as generous as she is knowledgeable. If you want to be happier, don’t miss this chance to learn the secrets of flourishing from a leader in the field of Positive Psychology!
Shirin Khamisa
Career counsellor & Certified ICF Coach – Careers by Design
The Watercooler sessions that you offer have meant the world to me during this most challenging time in our lives. From the coronavirus to the Black Lives Matter movement, to political unrest, this is an unprecedented time in history. I am so thankful for your generosity and your teachings. You truly are a gift! Your sessions have kept me grounded and working towards being resilient, with a new awareness around the importance of well-being in everyday life and in the most trying of times. The tools you share and the way you explain them and then allow us to practice them, has been invaluable. What you’ve taught me, I’ve passed along to friends and family and in turn, helped them too. So your teachings are multiplied and touch more people than you know! A heartfelt thank you to you, Louisa!
Diane Pincus
I had long struggled with my lack of motivation and my fear of the world. I didn’t have enough confidence in myself to start conversations with strangers or to try new things. I was unhappy with the small and empty way I was living my life and I wanted to make a change, but I didn’t know how or if I could. I found the answers I was looking for in this course.
It opened my eyes to the traps I was falling into and it gave me the knowledge and more importantly, the strategies I needed to overcome them. Once I started to apply some of those strategies and to do the exercises, I started to have a more positive outlook. With that new attitude, I embraced the findings and philosophies the workshop presented and gained the courage I needed to grow into a more productive and resilient person. Now I feel more in control of my life and hopeful for my future. Friends and family have told me I’m lighter and more confident. I have mended bad relationships and accomplished long-term goals. I feel like I’ve finally left my state of arrested development behind and entered adulthood. I owe that to Louisa and Flourishing 101.
Collette Johns
The Resilience for High Performance seminar delivered by Louisa Jewell to our sales and services teams at Patient News was interesting, entertaining and highly effective. Louisa clearly has full command of the subject. She delivered the content, true to the theme of her book, with total confidence, wit and rigor. Leading up to the session, Louisa took the time to really get to know our company, team and objectives and brilliantly structured the afternoon to meet our specific needs. From individual character strength identification to uncovering the 6 pillars of wellness, the content really engaged and I received many overwhelmingly positive comments from session participants. What really resonated were the “actual tools” Louisa introduced to help attendees incorporate the learnings into real practice. I even heard one of our senior sales executives on the phone with a prospective client saying “I work with an amazing organization that really cares about people. We recently had an expert in Positive Phycology here to coach us on how to been more effective, productive and happy. She was fantastic”. I highly recommend Louisa Jewell to any organization wanting to enhance the performance and interconnectedness of their teams. The Resilience for High Performance program is for you!
Karen Galley
President, Patient News
1) I felt that the PD with Louisa Jewell really had an effect on me in a very positive way. I could not stop talking and thinking about her discussions for a week or more after. It had such an impact on me that I spoke to my friends about that PD. I feel that our school needs these kinds of reminders in order to put ourselves on track and keep us conscious about our behaviors. I would love to continue to have her and listen to her and work. The best speaker and the most interesting topic I can remember.
2) I loved this PD session – more than any other previous PD. What made it unique was the universal applicability to all facets of life – family, work & personal. Ultimately, all of us working on personal growth and self-awareness will make us better role models, teachers, friends, parents, staff
Helen Gin
Middle School Principal
Southlake Regional Health Centre
Louisa was asked to present a full day workshop to our leadership group on Building Resiliency.
Louisa’s professionalism, expertise, engaging and interactive style, together with a unique sense of humor made the day not only very enjoyable and worthwhile, but very informative. I had many leaders express gratitude and appreciation for the learnings Louisa provided. In addition, prior to the workshop Louisa was very accommodating and flexible, working behind the scenes to help make the day productive. If you are looking to educate staff or leaders on the topic of building resiliency, I would definitely not hesitate in recommending using Louisa as your facilitator. You will not be disappointed.
Christopher Cecchini
Vice President, Employee Experience and Chief Human Resources Officer
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Thank for the short succinct and caring tips. I am in mental health care .And I need this pep talk as much as many one . Reminding myself to live in the “now “ and prepare for the future is good. It’s all in the practice . I am learning as I live to keep trying to train my brain ! Thanks again , be well
And best wishes ,
Lynne
Thank you Lynne! You have an important job right now. I hope you stay healthy and safe!