February 12, 2018
Raising Confident Children
Continuing with this month’s theme of raising confident children, in today’s Weekly Juice I walk you through how to shift your child from a pessimist mindset to an optimistic mindset in any given situation.
Now, this is not about turning your child into an optimist all the time. Sometimes we need a dose of pessimism in certain situations. For example, if your daughter becomes an airline pilot, I want her to be pessimistic about checking those wings one last time for ice. Pessimism just might save your life in this case. But for the most part, it’s important to instill a general, day-to-day dispositional optimism in your child’s life so that they feel confident that in general, things are working out for them. This optimistic outlook on life will help your child live a happier and healthier life. Another plus is that optimism fuels perseverance, one of the most important factors for achieving success.
Here are my tips on how you can help your child (and yourself) move from a pessimistic mindset to an optimistic mindset.
Permanent to Temporary
It’s important if your child faces failure that you encourage them to look at the situation as temporary. It’s not a reflection of who they are as a person and there is always room for improvement. One bad test score doesn’t mean that they will receive a bad grade on every test moving forward. You may even suggest to them to make a list of ways that they can improve so they have something to reference in the future.
Pervasive to Specific
Encourage your child to look at each failure individually. A bad test score in calculus does not mean that they are bad at math in general – it may just mean that they didn’t do so well on that particular test or that calculus is harder for them than algebra.
Personal to Non-Personal
Teaching your children to look at failure as non-personal will allow them to change their mindset from pessimist to optimist. Just because you fail at something, doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. It just means maybe you didn’t study hard enough, or you used the wrong strategy to approach the task. By making the failure non-personal you give your children hope that with a change in their approach, they can succeed.
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What are your tips for shifting your child from a pessimistic mindset to an optimistic mindset? Let me know in the comments below! For other tips on how to build confident children, subscribe to my newsletter to receive Your Weekly Juice directly to your inbox.